Tag:Auditory garbage
Posted on: April 24, 2010 8:05 am
Edited on: April 24, 2010 2:29 pm

Worst Song Ever Prelim 2 Groups 9-16

Well folks, here's the next set of groups for our Worst Song Ever preliminary.  Remember, you are picking two out of the five to automatically advance and the top vote getter of the non-winners will be our 65th team for our play-in matchup.  Just have to give a quick shoutout to the NCAA doing the sane, logical, and smart thing of only expanding to 68 teams instead of 96.  Those of you who follow me regularly know where I stood on that issue, and if not, you can search back through my recent blog entries as I identified just how stupid 96 teams would be as a grab for the money.  But, enough NCAA basketball, on to really bad songs which may cause the following (courtesy of community member iamyo who was running this the first time) and don't forget Prelim 1 is still open for one more week http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/

Self administered frontal lobotomy, Hair Loss, Night Sweats, E.D., A.D.D./A.D.H.D., Nausea and Vomiting, Frequent Urination, Migraine Headache, Suicidal and/or Homicidal Tendencies, Depression and Flatulence. By continuing to read beyond this point, you hereby indemnify CBS Sportsline and its affiliates, and the blog's author, from any financial liability and/or criminal negligence including, but not limited to: Income loss (both present and future earnings), Lawyer's fees, medicinal costs (including anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, Viagra and Beano) and psychiatric fees.

Group 9- (in soccer, this might be the group of death ... actually it might do that for us, too, as pretty much all 5 of these songs can induce suicidal tendancies)

U Can't Touch This-
M.C. Hammer (that's word)
I'm Henry VIII, I Am- Herman's Hermits (the Liz Taylor song in reverse)
The Girl Is Mine- Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson (funny, you'd think Jacko would do The Boy Is Mine, but Brandy and Monica did instead)
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?- Culture Club (Yes, Georgie, I really, REALLY do want to hurt you)
Electric Slide- Marcia Griffiths (boogie oogie oogie)

Group 10-

Boogie Oogie Oogie-
A Taste Of Honey (how ironic is this, only could have been outdone by being in the same group as Eletric Slide)
No Trash In My Trailer- Colt Ford (hot girls, putrid song)
Laffy Taffy- D4L
In The Year 2525- Zager & Evans
MacArthur Park- Professor Dumbledore, er, Richard Harris (Someone left my post out, in the rain.  And   I   don't think I'll retype it.  Cause it took so long to hype it.  And I'll never find that metaphor again.  Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Group 11-

Tom's Diner-
Suzanne Vega (shoutout to D2Moo for catching this song we missed first go-round.  I know I'd be pissed if the guy at the counter only filled my cup half way up.  Do do do do, do do do do)
Whoomp, There It Is- Tag Team (back again)
Seasons In The Sun- Terry Jacks (I had neither joy nor fun listening to this)
She's Like The Wind- Patrick Swayze
I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry (hey, every guy's fantasy, right?)

Group 12-

She Blinded Me With Science-
Thomas Dolby
Safety Dance- Men Without Hats
Summer Girls- LFO (I'll have to go back through the thread to thank the community member who nominated this classic we missed the first time.  the seeker caught this one)
My Sharona- The Knack
Crocodile Rock- Elton John (like a lot of Elton's music [and yes, I like women] but this song is flat out annoying)

Group 13-

I Am Woman-
Helen Reddy (hear me snore)
Say- John Mayer (what I want to say is this song is a huge pile of dung)
I Get Knocked Down- Chumbawumba (but, I get up again.  No, you're never gonna keep ME down)
(Hit Me) Baby One More Time- Britney Spears (my bleeding ears are killing me)  Knew something looked wrong the first time.  That's what I get for copying from the thread.  Don't worry, votes will still count.
Superbowl Shuffle- 1985 Chicago Bears

Group 14-

Don't Worry Be Happy-
Bobby McFerrin (this song actually doesn't bother me, although I can see why it grates on a lot of people)
Run Joey Run- David Geddes
I Touch Myself- The Divinyls
Undercover Angel- Alan O'Day
You Light Up My Life- Debbie Boone (this song's a bore.  Like some kind of chore.  Can't get it out of my head.  Doo doo doo doo)

Group 15-

Paradise By The Dashboard Light-
You're Beautiful- James Blunt
Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond (bah bah bah bah)
The Night Chicago Died- Paper Lace
These Words- Natasha Bedford (these words you've chosen have landed you in a worst song ever tournament, with many people saying I hate you, I hate you, I hate you)

Group 16-

Cheeseburger In Paradise-
Jimmy Buffet
Ticks- Brad Paisley (not the worst country song of all time, but one of the worst lines ever)
Country Boys And Girls- Tim McGraw
Tiptoe Through The Tulips- Tiny Tim
Morning Train- Sheena Easton (does anybody really want to come home after the drag of working a 9-5 job to find Sheena Easton waiting for them?)

Remember folks, your own comments are enocuraged, and have fun!
Posted on: April 18, 2010 10:29 am

Worst Song Ever Prelim 1 of 4 Groups 1-8

First off, I want to thank all of the members of the cbssports.com community who suggested songs both on our first failed attempt, and on my recent revival.  Between the two, we came up with 160 songs that we felt worthy of being named the Worst Song Ever.  However, in the end, there can only be one.  So here's how this will work.  I have divided the 160 songs into 32 groups of five.  In each group, you will pick the TWO you feel most deserve to go on to the field of 65.  That's TWO out of the FIVE.  No more.  No less.  Otherwise, your vote won't count.  You can copy and paste with highlights or strikeouts, or just do a list, however you feel.  Please feel free to make comments, as I sure will.  I will leave this open for two weeks.  Next week, I will post the second set of prelims, and will leave this open as we work on that.  Each set will stay open for two weeks, and afterwards, I will announce the songs that will move.  So when I post the third set of prelims in two weeks, I will give the results of prelim 1.  I will only vote to break ties, although as I announce the winners, I will reveal what my choices would have been.  And the last thing, obviously doing 32 groups and picking two songs will only yield 64.  The 65th (and last) entrant into the tournament will be whichever of the losers from the prelims gets the most votes.  So without futher ado, here are the first eight groups of songs that we feel we would have been better without.  Oh, and this is a democracy, so Ironman will be appearing, although I only expect it to get one vote.

Group 1-

The Association
Sole Provider- Michael Bolton
Dirty Laundry- Don Henley
Achy Breaky Heart- Billy Ray Cyrus
Living Inside Myself- Gino Vannelli (not to be confused with Vanilli)

Group 2-

Loving You-
Minnie Ripperton (ah ah ah ah ah)
Physical- Olivia Newton john
Hangin' Tough- New Kids On The Block
Believe- Cher
Smoking In The Boys Room- Motley Crue

Group 3-

Sweet Jane-
Cowboy Junkies
I Believe In A Thing Called Love- The Darkness
Two Of Hearts- Stacy Q
Barbie Girl- Aqua (my posts are made of plastic, they're fantastic ... give 'em 5 stars)
Mr. Roboto- Styx (Domo Arigato for this piece, Styx)

Group 4-

Bye, Bye, Bye-
'N Sync (I hate, hate, hate three word titles)
MmmBop- Hanson
Party Hard- Andrew W.K.
No Spitting On The Bus- Steve Gibbons Band
Having My Baby- Paul Anka

Group 5-

Los Del Rio (can you believe Billboard or Time had this as the fifth BEST song of all time)
99 Luft(Red)Balloons- Nena
Lost In Love- Air Supply
Mony Mony- Billy Idol
Kokomo- Beach Boys

Group 6-

We Built This City-
Jefferson Starship
I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)- Meatloaf
I've Never Been To Me- Charlene (really, I have [I think])
I Want Candy- Bow Wow Wow
Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice (No, I didn't sample Under Pressure by Queen.  There's goes Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh.  Mine goes Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH.  Thanks for clearing that up, Ice man)

Group 7-

Purple And Gold-
Prince (even worse than Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins number 1)
Cha Cha Slide- Mr. C
Walking On Broken Glass- Annie Lennox (thank you, Joe, for catching this one we missed the first time)
Sugar Sugar- Archies
Tragedy- The BeeGees

Group 8-

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)-
Rupert Holmes
Mandy- Barry Manilow
She Bang- Ricky Martin (not that this song wasn't bad enough, but William Hung put it over the top for me)
We Are The World 2010 Remake- Various artists (a case of not leaving well enough alone)
I Want It That Way- Backstreet Boys (tell me why, they made this song for airwaves)

And remeber the most important rule of all: HAVE FUN!
Posted on: April 8, 2010 9:38 pm

New home of the Worst Song Ever Tournament

First off, let me hit on the NCAA Championship game on Monday and one of the fallouts thereof.  That was by far, one of the best. most exciting games I've watched.  It's too bad Butler went ice cold shooting the ball the last four or so minutes of the game or they would have won, and what a story that would have been.  Coach Stevens today got a 12 year extension, and deservedly so.  I just still don't understand why this was considered such an underdog story.  Butler was ranked number 11 when the first poll came out, and have been building a solid program over the last five or so years, so this should have come as a surprise to absolutely no one (except for the clueless media who would have had you think this was George Mason 2006 all over again).  Now unfortunately, the success of this year's tournament led to something I had been fearing for a while.  They did expand the tournament next year to 96 teams.  Now, I've already expounded upon all the reasons why this is a horrible idea, and I won't bother rehashing them.  Now, I won't sit here and tell you it will RUIN the tournament.  That's highly unlikely.  But I will tell you, it WILL do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to enhance it, no matter what people tell you.  It's all about the $$$, and anybody who tells you different has a vested interest in it.  People will realize it next year when pretty much the 21 seeds down are mediocre teams with no business whatsoever being there, or having a chance to rob this year's St. Mary's or Northern Iowa's of their glory.  Anyway, the spectacle that was this year's NCAA tournament got me to thinking about reviving a blog contest that I was involved in and was very sad we never finished when the blog host started spending far less time on the site.  And I was like, you know what, this was such a great idea, and was so fun being involved in it, why don't I pick it up, with every intention of seeing it through until the end.  So I have just started a thread for the initial phase of this competition of linguistic crappiness, and would appreciate everybody's nominations of what you believe is the absolute worst song of all time.  Once I've received the entries, we will start pairing those down to a field of 65 (in honor of the most exciting tournament of all time) and I will seed and create brackets until we come up with what it the greatest auditory travesty of all time.  Here's the link to the thread: http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/messag

I look forward to what should be a bunch of fun.
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