Tag:Bad Songs
Posted on: December 11, 2010 10:41 pm

Worst Song Ever, The Sour 16

Well folks, in order to keep this porgressing, I tabulated the votes I had and am now proud to present the 16 worst songs voted on by the cbssports.com community.  Remember, you are voting for one song in each matchup, the one you consider to out garbage the other.  The winners will meet in 2-3 weeks in the regional finals, also known as the Earbleeding Eight.  Also, I am open to suggestions as to the name of our Final Four.  Oh, and is typical of a tournament (hear that, BCS), a number one seed has already fallen.  R.I.P. to Under Pressure by Queen, er, Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.  The Ice Man failed to cometh into the third round.  Also gone are 2 seeds Whoomp, There It Is (Tag Team, gone again.  Now they can party with their party people) and Tiptoe Through The Tulips (we just REALLY, REALLY hate Michael Bolton).  Also mid-major double digit seed Rico Suave is proudly making its trip to the Sour Sixteen.  Well, here we go folks, and always, feel free to comment and HAVE FUN (and don't send me your psychiatrist or otologist bills)!!!

Milli Vanilli SemiFinal 1
1) Macarena
by Los Del Rio vs 13) Rico Suave by Gerardo

Milli Vanilli SemiFinal 2
6) Boogie, Oogie, Oogie
by Taste Of Honey vs 7) Loving You by Minnie Ripperton

New Kids SemiFinal 1
8) Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
by Wham! vs 4) She Bang by Ricky Martin

New Kids SemiFinal 2
6) Hangin' Tough
by New Kids On The Block vs 2) Last Christmas by Wham! (imagine all the people an all Wham! final)

Village People SemiFinal 1
1) Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
by Culture Club vs 4) Living La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

Village People SemiFianl 2
6) Bye Bye Bye
bye 'N Sync vs 7) How Am I Supposed To Live Without You by Micahel Bolton (what I want to know is why Barbie Girl lost already)

Air Supply SemiFinal 1
1) Achy Breaky Heart
by Billy Ray Cyrus vs 4) Having My Baby by Paul Anka (Achy Breaky a surprise buzzer beater to advance)

Air Supply SemiFinal 2
6) Sole Provider
by Michael Bolton vs 2) I Am Woman by Helen Reddy
Posted on: May 9, 2010 2:48 pm
Edited on: May 9, 2010 7:50 pm

Worst Song Ever Prelim 4 and Prelim 2 Results

Okay guys, here's the last set in our preliminary round and the results of our second set.  Don't forget, voting for the third set continues for one more week, so you still have time to voice your opinions.  http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/

Group 9- As expected, we all really do want to hurt Boy George and the Culture Club as it was easily the top vote getter.  My personal number two won't be advancing, as I guess people just don't find it as annoying as I do.  In fact, Henvy VIII, I Am tied with The Girl Is Mine for last place.  Advancing with crossdressing man is ... U Can't Touch This by M.C. Hammer which edged out third place Electric Slide.

Group 10- I just can't get MacAurthur park to advance.  Nobody appreciates the love metaphor as much as I do, I guess.  In this group, it was defeated by top vote getter Boogie Oogie Oogie which will be getting down to the field of 65 along with my personal number one, No Trash In My Trailer, which edged out MacArthur Park for second.

Group 11- My personal top two were a DISTANT fourth and fifth in this group.  Sorry, Moo, Tom's Diner surprisingly only got TWO votes.  Guess it's not as bad as we feel it is.  And people obviously had joy and fun listening to Terry Jacks' Seasons In The Sun as only four people chose it.  Advancing from this group are Tag Team's classic (only) Whoomp There It Is and Patrick Swayze's She's Like The Wind, which I voted for the first time, but it wasn't going up against Tom's Diner.  Oh well.

Group 12- This group had a tie for first place, so the two advancing songs with 9 votes each are Summer Girls by LFO (apparently we don't like the girls from Abercrombie and Fitch) and She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby (I always wondered how that worked.  Did she expose a magnesium strip to the air?).

Group 13- To sum up this group, I shall take a quote from community member D2Moo. "Have to find funny the interesting dichotomy here.  One song blandly empowers females, the other stupidly sets back women years.  Bad is bad either way."  And we all agreed as advancing are first place I Am Woman by Helen Reddy and second place Britney Spear's epic (Hit Me) Baby One More Time.  My personal second Say by John Mayer got drowned out by the women.

Group 14- I guess I'm just too old as my personal number 2 Undercover Angel received the least amount of votes.  Advancing are Debbie Boone's You Light Up My Life and The Divinyls Austin Powers masterpiece (yes, I know the song was around long before the film) I Touch Myself.  Bobby McFarrin, my friend, don't worry, be happy, because your services are no longer required as you finished third.

Group 15- You're Beautiful by James Blunt was easily the top vote getter of this group, but edging out my personal number 2 The Night Chicago Died is Natasha Bedford's These Words.  Guess she should have chosen them more carefully as she's in the field of 65.  For you Red Sox fans, Sweet Caroline finished fourth.  The reason I wouldn't have been able to vote for it is that it was a favorite song of beloved local sportscaster and radio talent Chris Thomas who tradgically was silenced by cancer several years ago.

Group 16- Again my number 2 gets edged out.  I guess one really bad line is enough to put people over the edge.  Barely tossing aside Sheena Easton's Morning Train was Brad Paisley's Ticks and easy number one vote getter, the alliteratory Tiptoe Through The Tulips by Tiny Tim (say THAT 10 times real fast).

So now we have half of our field of 65, plus still leading for that play-in game spot is Hanson's MmmBop.  Without further ado, here are the last 40 songs up for nomination, including a couple I don't expect to do well at all (sorry, ktopp).

Group 25-

Just A Friend-
Biz Markie (Oh bay bee you.  You got what I need.  Now give me those earplugs.  Now give me those earplugs.)
Whip It- Devo (crack that whip)
Don't Cry Out Loud- Melissa Manchester (just keep it inside.  And try to hide your feelings about how this song REALLY SUCKS)
I Ran- Flock of Seagulls (this song makes you want to run so far away that you'll never have to listen to it again)
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go- Wham! (on second thought, just let me sleep in)

Group 26-

Michael Jackson
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It- Will Smith (hopefully they teach grammar at the school he and his wife built)
Breezy- JoJo (ironically, has nothing to do with wind)
Heartbeat- Don Johnson (actors should act, not sing)
Valley Girl- Frank Zappa

Group 27-

Don't Stop Believin'-
Journey (what, that this song might actually sometime end?)
Ace Of Spades- Motorhead
Muskrat Love- Captain and Tenille (amazingly, the only C & T song nominated)
Oops, I Did It Again- Britney Spears (yeah, you got another song nominated for our tournament)
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy- The Ohio Express (already told you how I feel about three word titles, but THIS song was so yucky, yucky, yucky, I felt throwup in my tummy)

Group 28-

I'm Too Sexy-
Right Said Fred (Too sexy for this blog, too sexy for this blog, so sexy I should be snogging.  Actually, judging by my gut, maybe jogging would be more in line)
Miss Me Blind- Culture Club (umm, okay)
Pimp Juice- Nelly
123 Red Light- 1910 Fruitgum Company
From A Distance- Bette Midler (that's where we should be listening to ALL of these songs)

Group 29-

Village People (young man, get away while you can)
Rico Suave- Gerardo (when Weird Al does a parody called Taco Grande, you know it's bad)
Saturday Night- Bay City Rollers
Rock Me Amadeus- Falco (I always wondered what happened to him after quitting the Star Fox group)
My Heart(this song)Will Go On(and on and on and on...)- Celine Dion (near, far, wherever you are, please don't listen to this song)

Group 30-

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm-
Crash Test Dummies (once, there was this song that, was so bad that it could be the worst song ever)
Midnight At The Oasis- Maria Muldar (come along, cactus is our friend [the hallucinoginic kind, anyways.  That has to be what induced THIS song])
Rock Lobster- B-52's (I prefer stone crab myself)
How Am I Supposed To Live Without You- Michael Bolton (I want to know ... just how many votes this will receive.  And believe me, Mike, she's not asking herself the same question)
The Deck Of Cards- Tex Ritter

Group 31-

The Beat Goes On-
Sonny and Cher (La di da di di, zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz)
We Go Together- John Travolta and Olivia Newton John (has to have some of the most insane lyrics of all time)
Ironman- Black Sabbath (actually, there's a great Christmas parody of this.  I Am Santa Cluas.  Leave him cookies and beer, he'll be back to your house first next year)
Greatest Love Of All- Whitney Houston (is white and powdery [at least in her eyes])
Torn Between Two Lovers- Mary MacGregor (the official theme song of sluts everywhere [although I often act like a fool myself])

Group 32-

John Lennon (I don't imagine this getting many [any] votes, but it was nominated)
Everybody- Backstreet Boys (Backstreet's back, oh no)
Walk The Dinosuar- Was/Not Was (shoutout to ktopp24 for ctaching this one.  Open the door, get on the floor)
Party All The Time- Donkey, er, Eddie Murphy (before he was donkey or the ahole who screwed [over] Mel B.)
True- Spandeau Ballet (with a name like Spandeau Ballet, it has to be bad)

Have fun, and don't forget to click on the link above and vote in Prelim 3 if you haven't already.  It is short on votes.
Posted on: April 18, 2010 10:29 am

Worst Song Ever Prelim 1 of 4 Groups 1-8

First off, I want to thank all of the members of the cbssports.com community who suggested songs both on our first failed attempt, and on my recent revival.  Between the two, we came up with 160 songs that we felt worthy of being named the Worst Song Ever.  However, in the end, there can only be one.  So here's how this will work.  I have divided the 160 songs into 32 groups of five.  In each group, you will pick the TWO you feel most deserve to go on to the field of 65.  That's TWO out of the FIVE.  No more.  No less.  Otherwise, your vote won't count.  You can copy and paste with highlights or strikeouts, or just do a list, however you feel.  Please feel free to make comments, as I sure will.  I will leave this open for two weeks.  Next week, I will post the second set of prelims, and will leave this open as we work on that.  Each set will stay open for two weeks, and afterwards, I will announce the songs that will move.  So when I post the third set of prelims in two weeks, I will give the results of prelim 1.  I will only vote to break ties, although as I announce the winners, I will reveal what my choices would have been.  And the last thing, obviously doing 32 groups and picking two songs will only yield 64.  The 65th (and last) entrant into the tournament will be whichever of the losers from the prelims gets the most votes.  So without futher ado, here are the first eight groups of songs that we feel we would have been better without.  Oh, and this is a democracy, so Ironman will be appearing, although I only expect it to get one vote.

Group 1-

The Association
Sole Provider- Michael Bolton
Dirty Laundry- Don Henley
Achy Breaky Heart- Billy Ray Cyrus
Living Inside Myself- Gino Vannelli (not to be confused with Vanilli)

Group 2-

Loving You-
Minnie Ripperton (ah ah ah ah ah)
Physical- Olivia Newton john
Hangin' Tough- New Kids On The Block
Believe- Cher
Smoking In The Boys Room- Motley Crue

Group 3-

Sweet Jane-
Cowboy Junkies
I Believe In A Thing Called Love- The Darkness
Two Of Hearts- Stacy Q
Barbie Girl- Aqua (my posts are made of plastic, they're fantastic ... give 'em 5 stars)
Mr. Roboto- Styx (Domo Arigato for this piece, Styx)

Group 4-

Bye, Bye, Bye-
'N Sync (I hate, hate, hate three word titles)
MmmBop- Hanson
Party Hard- Andrew W.K.
No Spitting On The Bus- Steve Gibbons Band
Having My Baby- Paul Anka

Group 5-

Los Del Rio (can you believe Billboard or Time had this as the fifth BEST song of all time)
99 Luft(Red)Balloons- Nena
Lost In Love- Air Supply
Mony Mony- Billy Idol
Kokomo- Beach Boys

Group 6-

We Built This City-
Jefferson Starship
I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)- Meatloaf
I've Never Been To Me- Charlene (really, I have [I think])
I Want Candy- Bow Wow Wow
Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice (No, I didn't sample Under Pressure by Queen.  There's goes Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh.  Mine goes Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH.  Thanks for clearing that up, Ice man)

Group 7-

Purple And Gold-
Prince (even worse than Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins number 1)
Cha Cha Slide- Mr. C
Walking On Broken Glass- Annie Lennox (thank you, Joe, for catching this one we missed the first time)
Sugar Sugar- Archies
Tragedy- The BeeGees

Group 8-

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)-
Rupert Holmes
Mandy- Barry Manilow
She Bang- Ricky Martin (not that this song wasn't bad enough, but William Hung put it over the top for me)
We Are The World 2010 Remake- Various artists (a case of not leaving well enough alone)
I Want It That Way- Backstreet Boys (tell me why, they made this song for airwaves)

And remeber the most important rule of all: HAVE FUN!
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com